When I get upset, I run a hot bath.
I guess it started the summer I got a bad infection in my body,
and the only thing that made the pain subside was a scalding hot bath.
I must have taken five a day for a week straight.
Draining the water when it got cold, and running a new one.
After that, when I got better, any time I felt achy or stressed I would run a bath.
I still do.
But I’ve realized lately that it doesn’t really fix anything.
When I feel stressed out now, sometimes the hot water and seclusion helps.
But once it drains and I come out, I’m upset again.
My problems are normally patient. They wait for me.
Sometimes, running a bath doesn’t help at all.
I just find myself sinking into hot water and staring at the ceiling.
And I realize with a tired frustration that nothing is really gone or different.
Water doesn’t wash off the problems in my life.
It can distract me, sometimes.
But they’re still there once it’s over.
I guess that’s something I’m learning lately.
Distractions are nice, and sometimes they’re exactly what I need.
But they don’t actually solve anything.
There’s nothing wrong with taking a step back and collecting strength to tackle problems with.
But I need to learn that there’s a difference between taking a step back, and running away.
I’ve been doing a lot of running, lately.
I guess I need to let my bathtub dry out for a while.